Have you ever felt like you couldn't do anything right? Like no one wanted to be around you, or talk to you? Have you ever wanted to not listen to yourself talk anymore? Like you just wanted to shut yourself off for a little bit?

This is what I always feel like and I don't know what to do about it.

Even as I write this, I'm thinking, "Why are you even writing this? Stop complaining, suck it up and do something about it".

I try to avoid writing like this for various reasons, but right now, I'm beyond my own capacity to deal with myself.

This is it for awhile. I'm done with talking to people, I'm done with interacting with myself and others. I'm going to make a doctors appointment and I'm going to get help. I can't put it off any more.

I'm tired of being disappointed with myself and I'm tired of disappointing others. I'm tired of not liking myself. I'm tired of this anxious feeling I always have. I'm tired of not being able to concentrate. I'm tired of people not liking me, but I don't even like myself most of the time so how do I expect others to like me.

Sometimes I think I should be an actor, because I can even fool myself.

(I'll be ok; I'm just so tired.)